July 4th - Independence Day- 2006

Weekly Word for - Independence Day 2006

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity - to give you a future and a hope.”
(Jeremiah 29: 11)

Plans for the future . . . my plans . . . they didn’t quite seem to be going the way I had hoped! I had planned on setting up a schedule for the summer. I was going to write each day, between the hours of 10am and 2pm. That way, I would get the book done by the end of summer. It sounded like a good plan to me. But somehow, the past few weeks didn’t work out that way. There had been company, and kids to watch, and other demands on my time. Nothing was going “right”! And then Ted and I went to a party last week. As we sat with some friends, one of the women started to tell us how happy she was - now that she had decided to become “an independent woman”. “I am not letting anyone boss me around any more!” she said. As I listened to her, I couldn’t help but wonder at that statement. And then, she turned and looked straight at me. “You should be able to do whatever you want to do!” “No one should tell you what to do . . .”

“No one should tell you what to do . . .” As I thought about that statement, I couldn’t help but think back over my life - to the times when I thought I knew just what I was supposed to be doing - - - but found out, that I didn’t have a clue . . .

Thus says the Lord, “Restrain your voice from weeping, And your eyes from tears;
For your work shall be rewarded,” declares the Lord, . . .
“And there is hope for your future,” . . .
(Jeremiah 31: 16 & 17)

I was living on my own - a single mom - working hard to take care of my daughter. I had rented a cute little house, close to where Jenny was going to school. I had been working and volunteering for quite a few years in ministry, and had been studying to become a full-time Christian counselor. So as Jenny began her sophomore year of high school, I figured this was the perfect time to finally “do” what I wanted to do. I approached my friend about joining the ministry full time, and was so disappointed when she told me she wasn’t so sure that’s what I was “supposed” to be doing . . .

My friend’s daughter had just given birth to a little baby girl that summer. I had visited her, bringing a present over to the new baby. As I sat on the floor holding the baby, her mother told me that she believed I should be the one to babysit - when she went back to work. I have to admit, I wasn’t very happy about that idea. And I told her so! I told her that I would pray about it, but that I didn’t think that I was “supposed” to be babysitting at this point in my life. As I got up to leave, I was so angry. I didn’t want to admit it - but God’s presence was all around me, as I held that little girl. “I don’t want to babysit!” I told Him as I got in the car that day! “I want to finally work in ministry!” “I want to do something more important . . .”

Bring me back - that I may be restored, For Thou art the Lord my God.
(Jeremiah 31: 18 )

I didn’t want to watch Kerri Joy, but that’s exactly what I ended up doing. I couldn’t deny that God’s presence was right there - every time I would ask Him what I was supposed to be doing. I didn’t understand why - - - but I decided I would watch this little girl anyways.

Bring me back that I may be restored, . . .

Kerri Joy became part of our family. She was there every day and sometimes overnight. When I look back at the pictures, there she is in her highchair - in the middle of our kitchen. Even as Jenny got ready for her prom, little Kerri was holding on to the bottom of her legs. I couldn’t help but laugh as Jen danced around the room in her beautiful gown, holding on to Kerri and spinning her around and around. The memories are pure joy! It was as if she was a part of that house or that period of time - and she added so much to our lives.

For two years, Jenny had a baby sister - and I had another little daughter. Neither of us realized that she was a gift that we needed at that moment. We weren’t even sure we wanted her, at first. But then - - - she became a huge part of our lives.

I have to admit, I didn’t realize how much I received - from the gift of that little one. It wasn’t until later on, that I realized the “freedom” she actually gave me. When my own children had been born years earlier, they had been born to a very wounded momma. I was afraid to hold them too much, or let them sleep in my bed, or do any of the things that mothers get to do. All because my husband told me it wasn’t good or right - and I didn’t have the strength or courage to fight with him. But with Kerri - there was a freedom to just love her. I rocked her and held her - and even let her fall asleep in my arms. The things I didn’t get to do with my own babies - I was finally able to do with this little one.

I guess it hit home how much I loved Kerri, the day that Norma brought me a gift. It was all wrapped up with a beautiful bow on top. When I opened it, I pulled out a beautiful pink baby outfit. It was for Kerri - but also for me. I would put it on her, on the days she stayed overnight and week-ends. It was an outfit I could keep - - - forever . . . .

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven - - -
A time to give birth, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
(Ecclesiastes 3: 1 & 2)

Kerri Joy was between 2 and 3 years old when I stopped babysitting her. She had a new baby brother, and her mother had changed jobs. It all seemed to happen so quickly, and before I knew it - - - my life changed again! But to this day, I have that little outfit hidden in a bureau drawer. And I believe that “who” I am today - was changed because of that little life . . .

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven - - -

As I look back over my life, every single time that I “think” I know just what I am supposed to be doing - I really do find out that I don’t! I finally did become that full-time Christian counselor. Jenny headed off to college, and I moved in to an apartment on the ministry property. My life seemed to be heading down a certain road - and then I met Ted again . . .

And there is a time for every event under heaven - - -
A time to keep, and a time to throw away.
A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; . . .
(Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 6, & 7)

When Ted came back into my life, our friendship seemed to grow so fast. His wife had just left him, and he needed a friend to just listen. That’s how it began. Soon, we were talking on the phone every single day - telling each other about our hopes and dreams - talking about everything. But both of us had beliefs and thoughts about what our futures would hold. He believed that I would stay single - and become a partner and minister with my friend. I believed that he would get married again - and become a wonderful husband and father. But our lives took a very different turn. Instead, we fell in love with each other - and I have a partner in ministry with him. And he is a wonderful husband - and father and grandfather - to our children and our grandchildren . . .

“For I know the plans that I have for you, . . .”

This past week-end was Father’s Day. It was a time to honor the fathers in our lives. I wanted it to be a special day for Ted. But the week-end became very busy with Jenny coming down for the week-end, and Mike coming over to visit. Ted and I found ourselves cooking on the grill, and running back and forth getting things for the kids. As we went to bed that night, I told him that I was sorry that he ended up having to work so hard on his special day. He looked at me and laughed. “Don’t you understand?” he asked me. “It was Father’s Day - and I got to be a dad and take care of my kids . . .”


“No one should tell you what to do . . .” As I think about what my friend said, I realize that the very best gifts I have ever been given in my life - have been the ones that God has given me. They haven’t come from the things I went after - or that I planned for. They came, because I asked God to “be in charge” of my life.

Last night, as Ted held me in his arms, I realized how wonderful my life is - “because” he is part of it. “You make my life fuller and richer” I told him. “Because you are in my life - I am so much more . . .”

My friend is working very hard to become an “independent woman” - someone who stands on her own. But for me, I have so much more - because I “depend” on the love of Ted - and the Lord. Have things been going the way I had hoped they would? No! I don’t know why, but what I do know is this: God’s plans have always been better than anything I have ever dreamed or imagined . . .

“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy - may be made full.” (John 15: 11)

I don’t know when I will be back to writing the stories each week. But until that time, it is my hope and prayer that as we celebrate this July 4th - Independence Day - you will choose to ask the Lord to be part of your life - and all of your plans. When you start to “depend” on His Love - - - your life will become full of amazing possibilities . . . .

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity - to give you a future and a hope.”
(Jeremiah 29: 11)

God bless you and keep you - until we meet again . . .

In His Love,
Debbie & Ted Ayers

"Weekly Word"

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good - to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
(Romans 8: 28)

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason - bringing something we must learn. But I don‘t know if I believe that’s true . . . But I know that because I knew you, I have been changed - - - for good . . .” These are some of the words to a song that we heard on the Today Show this morning. The words told of people making “handprints in our souls” that lasted forever. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think back on the people who have helped Ted and I to be “who” we are today - - - the people who changed our lives - - - for good . . .

God causes all things to work together for good . . .

As we walked into the house, I wondered what it would be like - now that Grandma wasn’t living here any more. We had just driven 10 hours, to get to this place - Ted’s home town. His dad let us into the house, and then after a few hugs and “hello’s” - he left us alone in the house. It was late, after 11pm - but we found ourselves just wandering around the house, taking in all the memories and moments from when Ted was younger. As we finally went to bed that night, I wondered what the next week would bring . . .

In the early morning light, the dirt and grime of years of neglect seemed to jump out at us. We quickly found cleaning materials, and starting working on the old house. As we worked, we came across “mementoes” - things that grandma and grandpa had used or made over the years. There were ceramics in every room - as grandma had loved to make pretty things. There were gadgets and tools in the kitchen and garage - all from grandpa. As we worked, there were times when I would sit back and just watch Ted holding something from his grandparents. His eyes seemed to drift back in time - to the boy who had grown up here, learning so much from his grandparents . . .

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
(1 Corinthians 13: 1)

“Because I knew you - - - I have been changed . . .” There in that house, we found so many pictures of times long since gone. There were pictures of Ted as a baby, in his grandma’s arms. There were pictures of Christmas trees and presents - and children everywhere. Each picture was a moment in time - leading to the man who is now my husband.

Over the next week, Ted and I visited as many of his family as we could. We stayed with his brother Brian in Ohio. Here we visited Brian’s church, and listened to him preach. We saw Ted’s sister and her whole family - meeting her grandson for the very first time. We visited with his other brothers in Erie - just sitting and talking about the past few years. And each morning, we visited with Ted’s dad. The days seemed to fly by - and before we knew it - it was time to leave. As we got ready to go - I realized how much each of these people meant to Ted. Each had been a part of Ted’s life - as he grew up in this little town. Each shared certain moments in time with him - the difficult ones - as well as the ones of love and laughter, family and faith . . .

And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
(1 Corinthians 13: 2)

Ted is “who” he is - because of the people who loved him. Ted cooks for me on the week-ends - and I realize that his grandma was a cook, and he learned at her side. Ted also loves to work with his hands - fixing things that are broken. He loves gadgets and tools - and those loves came from his grandpa. So much of what makes Ted “who he is - is because of the handprints of those wonderful people . . .

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
(1 Corinthians 13: 4)

“Because I knew you - - - I have been changed . . .” Most of us are the people we are today - because of those who have touched our lives.

I grew up with parents who were flawed, selfish, and didn’t know how to take care of their children. They didn’t mean to be like that - but they were. But I also had two grandparents who I knew loved me. My grandpa (my mother’s father) died when I was 14 years old. But even today, I can still see him, and feel his gentle presence, when I close my eyes. He had a soft voice, and never yelled. But when he died, my “Nana” lost her best friend. It seemed like grandpa was always taking care of her - until that terrible day. We were all there - my parents, my brothers, and me - that day when my grandfather had his heart attack. My mother took my grandmother back to our house, and tried to get her to stay there. But she didn’t want to - she wanted to go home! And that’s when I went to live with her.

Everyone seemed to think Nana was weak, but I learned the truth. When Grandpa died - my Nana decided to continue to live her life! She learned to drive at 68, and lived alone until just before she died at 89. She had a quiet way about her, and never demanded attention. She gave to each of us kids, as well as her daughter - without saying a word. I learned so much about strength and love, from watching my grandmother. I wanted to be just like her - when I grew up . . .

Love . . . Does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things believes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails; . . .
(1 Corinthians 13: 6 & 7)

“Because I knew you - - - I have been changed . . .” Each of us are the sum of everything we have lived through - up to this moment in time.

When I think back to those people who have made a difference in my life, I also think of Norma. Her life - changed mine. I don’t think she thought too much about me, when she first met me. She had a life that was so full of friends and activities. She had a strong faith, and was part of a number of ministry groups. And then she met me . . .

I don’t think either of us thought we would become best friends, when we first got to know each other. We were the exact opposite of the other - even down the clothes we wore. She was very tall, and built a lot bigger than I was. She wore suits and skirts, and always seemed dressed up. I wore jeans, or free-flowing dresses that definitely weren’t businesslike. But there we were, working together in the same ministry - and caring for the lives of those mommas and babies. And that’s what brought us together - we both cared . . .

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then - face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully - just as I also have been fully known.
(1 Corinthians 13: 12)

She became the person I called when I was in pain or in trouble. She was the one who listened and prayed with me. She seemed to see in me - things I didn’t know could be there. She trusted me with her secrets, and even with her life. And when she left - a part of my heart left with her . . .

“But I know that because I knew you, I have been changed - - - for good . . .” These words are how I feel about Ted’s grandparents - my Nana - and Norma. They are a few of the people who have touched our lives, in ways that changed us - forever.

The other day, I told Ted that when I look at him - I see his grandpa. I know that when people see me - they also see my grandmother. I guess I also hope that when people look at me - they see a glimpse of Norma too. Each has left their handprints - on our very souls.

But the “One” I hope each of you see - when you look at Ted and me - is the Lord. He is the One who really changed our lives. He brought each gift of love and friendship into our lives. He healed our wounds and our broken hearts. And then - - - He changed our lives forever - bringing “us” together . . .

But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
(1 Corinthians 13: 13)

This past week-end was Memorial Day. It is a time to “remember” those who have made a difference in our world. It is a time to remember the men and women who gave their lives, for all of us. It is a time to remember - the faces of those who have changed our lives - forever . . .

Each day, when I look in my mirror, I see glimpses of my grandmother’s face looking back at me. But if I look deeper - - - I see so much more . . .

*****************

And we have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
(1 John 4: 16)

Who do you see each morning, when you look into that mirror? It is my hope and prayer that in your own life - - - you will see the hands of God . . .

“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”
(John 15: 11)

God bless you and keep you until we meet back here again . . .

In His Perfect Love,
Debbie & Ted Ayers

I will be taking the next few months off from writing the “Weekly Word”. During this time, I will be working on a book about friendship and love. It is a book about the friendship that Norma and I shared - until the moment she left. It is about knowing that I will see her again - someday . . .

So during these next few months, I want to ask you to please take the time to read some of the past stories that have been archived here for you. And I pray that you will be blessed by the messages in each - of God’s promises and love.

Thank you all for your love and support,
Debbie