"Love Never Fails . . ."

“Love never fails . . .”

Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; . . .
. . . (love) bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails; . . .
(1 Corinthians 4 & 7)

As she gave me a hug, she whispered “see you in a month”. Then she waved and headed to the car. Standing there, I swallowed hard - trying not to let her see my tears. It had been a wonderful week-end, full of laughter and joy as we celebrated Jen’s wedding shower. Ted and I had worked for days; cooking and planning for the shower. And now . . . It was over! How could it have flown by so fast? How could my daughter be getting married in just over month? Everything was changing! And inside of me, I wasn’t so sure I was ready for this next step . . .

Love . . . bears all things - believes all things - hopes all things . . .

He had blonde hair, and beautiful brown eyes that seemed to pull you right in. He was tall and thin, and I loved him with all of my heart and soul. He was my little boy. I couldn’t imagine loving anyone the way I loved him! But it was that love, that made me want to have another baby. I wanted to hold another one - just like he had been. I also wanted to give him a brother or sister to play with, to love, and to have in his life forever. And finally - after waiting for two years, I was pregnant again! As we celebrated Mike’s 4th birthday, I have to admit, I had such mixed feelings about everything! I wanted this baby more than anything in the world! And yet, I also loved my little son so much! What if I didn’t have enough love for both of them? What if having a new baby made me unable to give my son what he needed? What if - - - kept rolling around in my head!

I can still see the picture of that day in my head. It was the day my little baby girl came into this world. Laying in the hospital bed, Mikey was cuddled next to me on my left side - as the tiny little one lay sleeping on my right side. He seemed so big that day; compared to his little baby sister. As I held them both close to me, the feelings of love and joy just seemed to sweep over me! I had my little boy - and my little girl . . .

“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” (John 17:13)

I was a mother of two little ones. I believed that my life was full and complete - as I took care of my babies. Mike continued to grow tall and strong. And at 5, he was my constant companion, helping me each day to care for his little sister. As he did, he was constantly asking questions and talking about the world around him. He had started going to kindergarten, and he was discovering a new and larger world. Each day, he left me for a few hours at a time. Those were the hours that I started getting to know my little girl. At a year old, Jenny was the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen! She had dark hair, and her brother’s beautiful brown eyes. Her skin was a soft beige, and I marveled at how she was growing. She was small for her age, and seemed a little sicker than her big brother. She had spent the first year in and out of the doctor’s office, having trouble with both her stomach and her ears. And yet, she was the happiest baby I had ever seen. Each time we went to the doctor’s, her personality seemed to draw everyone to her. At times, she could be found in the doctor’s arms, as he walked around his office. She rarely cried, and laughter was always in her eyes. She seemed to love life, and she definitely adored her big brother!

I guess as moms (and dads) we start to believe that this is how our lives are going to be. We love and care for our children, and we know that we will always be there for them. And then - - - our children grow and change . . .

And it is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings - and establishes kings; (Daniel 2:21)

Somehow, in the blink of an eye, my children began to change. No longer did they need me for all their care and desires. They had friends, and sports, and places they wanted to go. Soon I became the chauffer and butler! And still - I loved being their mom. Our lives became hectic, and rushed - and sometimes I wondered if I was even able to get two words in with my children. They had homework, soccer, dance lessons, and all sorts of other demands on their lives, as well as on mine! But every once in a while, as I drove one of them to wherever, we would talk. I never knew when it would happen, but when it did, it was both special - - - and scary! Those were the moments when “life’s lessons” were discussed. Questions about morals, and the choices that were being put before them. “Was it right to . . .?” “Was this wrong?” were the questions that hung in the air. As they asked each question, I would always take a deep breath before answering. Truthfully, I wasn’t even sure what I would say. I didn’t want to sound judgmental or condemning - and yet I wanted them to really know my feelings on certain subjects. Many times, they would disagree, and I had to swallow hard to make sure I didn’t cut them off from talking. Nothing was easy about those moments, and yet I was so thankful that they happened. Because soon, I knew they would be making choices - all by themselves . . .

And it is He who changes the times . . .

Changes - I don’t think any of us like them. Whether it is on our own, or in those we love and care about; it is never easy. And it is definitely difficult to let go, as our children start to change and struggle to become independent. I have to admit, I hated it. I wanted those two little ones who “needed” me! But they were quickly changing, and I wasn’t sure if my heart could stand it . . . .

He was 17 when he told us that he wanted to join the army. His father yelled and screamed, as I just sat there wondering what was the right answer. I knew how bright my son was. But I also knew that he didn’t really know what he wanted to do after high school. Maybe this would help to show my son what he really wanted to do with his life. And so I spent the next few days calming my husband down, trying to help him to see that this really might be a good choice after all. It was a cold, February evening when the recruiter came to the house. I have to admit, I was beginning to have my doubts. The recruiter seemed so arrogant and crass, and I really didn’t like him. I found myself wanting to fight with him, about everything. Mike seemed so young, and I wasn’t sure I wanted him to be around anyone like this man! With all my heart, I wanted to protect my son from being hurt! And still, the paperwork ended up being signed. My son was part of the military. He wouldn’t be leaving until summer, and so, in “my” mind, he was still mine for a little longer . . .

Over the next few months, I planned Mike’s graduation present. His dad thought I was nuts. But I wanted to get Mike a car. It was an old, broken-down Pontiac that Mike had shown to me. It didn’t really drive, but I knew that Mike would love to work on it. As I made plans to have the car towed to the house, my husband was definitely not happy with me. I guess I didn’t care what he thought, as the car was brought into the yard. There it waited, until Mike came home from school.

That summer, Mike and his friends pulled the car apart - piece by piece. They were always working on it! As I watched them from my kitchen, I was so glad that they had something to keep them busy during those days. As August came closer, my heart was growing heavier. How was I going to say good-bye to my beautiful son? That last night before he was due to leave, I’m not sure any of us slept. Mike spent the night out in the garage, working on his car. Every piece that he had taken off, was put back together. As morning dawned, there sat the car I had bought him. He looked tired and worn out, but he also had a look of accomplishment on his face that morning. As he headed off to shower and get dressed, we all got ready to leave. As we drove that day, the car was very quiet. None of us knew what lay ahead for our son. Driving into the parking lot, I couldn’t’ bear how hard my heart was beating. I didn’t want to leave him there! But I knew we had to. Biting my lip, I tried to smile as I hugged him and said good-bye. As he opened the door, he looked back - and then disappeared inside. And at that moment, my tears finally let loose.

Leaving Mike that day, was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I never did ask him why he spent that last night working on the car. I guess I just figured that it gave him something purposeful to do - as he got ready to face the next chapter in his life . . . .

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
(Romans 8:28)

Changes - I don’t think I will ever get used to them. Each of my children have grown and changed - as they have become adults. There have been moments of pure celebration, as well as times of great heartache. And with each step they have taken, my heart has hoped for them both . . .

And we know that God causes all things to work together . . .

She wanted to live in Vermont, and I didn’t want her to. She had just graduated from college, and I was sure she could get a job closer to home. But she argued with me, telling me that she had a place to live, and a job waiting for her. I knew her best friend lived in Vermont, and I also knew that she had done her internship there the summer before. But I still didn’t want her to go. But it wasn’t my choice to make, and so I tried to keep quiet and be supportive.

As my daughter packed her things, she told me all about her new job and all that she would be doing. I listened and I smiled, worrying all the while that she was making a mistake. Her relationship with her friend had been a rocky one at best. There were times when they shared a deep friendship - only to turn around and fight terribly. “What if things didn’t work out” I asked. And my daughter did her best to assure me that everything would be fine. As she drove away that day, the tears just seemed to pour down my cheeks.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully - just as I also have been fully known.
(1 Corinthians 13: 12)

She did her best, I know she did. But nothing worked out the way she thought it would. The job wasn’t opening up until a few months down the road, and the couch she was sleeping on - well, the family wasn’t so happy that she was there. My daughter searched for work, and tried to make things better with her friend - - - and didn’t call me. When we talked, she told me everything was fine. For weeks, she struggled on her own - trying to make things work out. But they didn’t. Her friendship had hit rock bottom, with threats and slaps hitting their mark. As the household fell asleep one night, she crept out the door - carrying only a few possessions in one hand - and her kitten in the other.

That night, my daughter walked away from a life she had just begun. In despair, she called another friend to help her - and he did. He picked her up on the side of the road, soaked to the skin. Her few possessions, she held tightly to her chest. It was a night that changed her life - forever . . .

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails; . . .

I waited all night to hear from my daughter. I worried and I prayed, hoping that she was OK. When the phone finally rang, I heard her tired voice on the other line. “I’m OK mom” she said. And then she put her friend on the line. His name was Dan, and he told me that his mom was taking good care of Jenny, and that she was going to be fine. He also told me that I would get to see her soon. As I hung up the phone, I wondered about this boy, and who he was. Slowly, over the next few weeks, I got to know both him and his mom. They took such good care of my wounded little girl. He was also true to his word, and brought her home to see me. As I held my daughter, I thanked God that she was safe. And then I wondered - what did He have in store for her next . . .

Love never fails; . . .

Over the past few years, my children have gone through some tough times. They have faced heartache and pain, as well as brand new beginnings. This past November, Mike was married for the 2nd time. He married a wonderful girl with twin little boys. Together, Mike and Kelly are working hard to raise their five children. They go to church together very week, praying together - and hoping together. Do I worry about my son and his family? Of course! But I also know that God is walking right there with them - as they travel this brand new road.

In just a few weeks, my daughter will be getting married. She is marrying a boy named Dan. They have been through some tough times together. And yet, they have worked hard to make a new life for each other. Do I worry about this next step in my daughters life? I sure do! But I also know that the Lord has brought my little girl through so much, as she has grown into a beautiful young woman.

Changes - They come with living this life. Sometimes I wish that they would wait a little bit, but they don’t. My mom’s disease has made it impossible for her to attend her granddaughter’s wedding. My heart hurts because of that. And yet, this is how things are. As Jen takes this next big step in her life - my mom is slowly being taken away from us. But I know that with God’s help - the hearts of those I love will always be close by - no matter where we are in this life . . .

“The voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who say, “Give thanks to the Lord of hosts, For the Lord is good. For His lovingkindness is everlasting.”
(Jeremiah 33:11)

As you walk this road we call “life”, it is my hope and prayer that you will ask the Lord to walk it with you. As you do, He will be there in the twists and turns - in every change you will face - always . . .

God bless you and keep you!

In His Amazing Love,
Debbie & Ted Ayers