Weekly Word for July 29 - August 5, 2005

Weekly Word - July 29, 2005

The humble have seen it and are glad; You who seek God, let your heart revive.
For the Lord hears the needy, And does not despise His who are prisoners.
(Psalm 69: 32 & 33)

As Ted slipped into bed, I turned and asked him how he was. “It has been the week from (you-know-where)!” he said, sighing as he leaned back against the pillows. It was late, almost midnight, and he had been working since very early that morning. Everything that possibly could go wrong - had gone wrong that week. He had just left one of the stores that he works for. A driver had somehow driven their car straight into the store. The work, cleaning up the mess, had just begun. I listened to him, as he told me about the day, and about the problems he had encountered. As he talked, I could hear the tiredness in his voice. Soon, he had drifted off to sleep.

It had been a difficult week for both of us. It had been a week of more scans and tests for my back. It was a week of pain, and struggling to still do some work. It was a week of wanting to see my husband, and knowing that his work was taking most of his time. I wanted to complain to him about it all - but looking at his tired face - I couldn’t. So as I talked with one of my friends, I heard her say “Keep your chin up, things will get better.” As she said it, I wondered why her words didn’t make me feel any better. I knew she cared, but the pain was still there. Why were things so difficult right now? Where was my faith? Where was the comfort that I longed for . . .

Reproach has broken my heart, and I am so sick. And I looked for sympathy, but there was none, And for comforters, but I found none.
(Psalm 69: 20)

I was 6 years old, in first grade, and always having trouble with my ears. The pain would make me cry, as I sat at my desk at school. The teacher would tell me it was going to be alright, as they called my mother to come pick me up. As I waited, with my head on my desk and the pain throbbing in my ears, Carol would turn around in her seat. Even though the teacher would yell at her, she would do it anyways. Then she would rub my head and with soft words - she would comfort me. She was only five at the time, and yet she had a soothing way. To this very day, I remember Carol, and the way she could comfort me - when no one else could . . .

For you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; . . .
Therefore comfort one another . . .
(1 Thessalonians 4: 9 & 18)

The doctor decided that I needed to have an operation. My ear aches were not getting better, and so they made a date for me to go into the hospital. When the day came, I cried. I didn’t want to be left there all alone! My parents didn’t listen, they just kissed me and walked away - as I sat there crying for them to come back . . .

As I sat on my bed, I watched the boy across from me coughing and blowing his nose. I didn’t want to be there, and so I decided I was leaving. Getting down from the bed, I headed out the door. But the nurse stopped me and asked me where I was going. I told her I wanted to go home. But she just walked me back to my room. As I started to cry again, she tried to comfort me - telling me that everything was going to be alright. As she put me back into my bed, she told me there was ice cream waiting for me, after I had the operation. She tucked me in, and I waited - - - afraid of everything - - - and wishing I was home . . .

May the flood of water not overflow me, And may the deep not swallow me up, . . .
Answer me, O Lord, for Thy lovingkindness is good;
(Psalm 69: 15 & 16)

I never did get that ice cream. When I woke up, my throat hurt and I couldn’t talk. There was blood on the pillow, and I didn’t feel very good. When my parents came to take me home, I tried to ask for the ice cream - but couldn’t get the words out . . .

But I am afflicted and in pain; May Thy salvation, O God, set me securely on high.
(Psalm 69: 29)

Afflicted and in pain . . . Comforting another - Through the years, I have been on both sides - needing comfort and wishing I could comfort another . . .

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me;
Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.
(Psalm 23: 4)

She had called me on the phone, telling me that she really didn’t feel very good. As I listened, I could hear how afraid she was - and it really worried me. My friend was never sick. We talked for a few minutes more, and then I told her I was coming over. She argued with me, but finally agreed. We had been friends for years - and she was usually the one to come help me! I had been sick for quite a while, and she was always there - with a word of encouragement, praying with me, or just sitting listening. As I drove, I started to talk out loud to the Lord. “Lord, You know that I have been sick, and really don’t know how to pray very well, can’t you send someone better than me?” as I said it - I really did know that others were better at praying and knowing how to help. But I figured I would try to do my best . . .

I was right, I didn’t pray that well - I just held her hands and started talking to the Lord. She looked so sick, and I was so worried. My hands shook as I held hers - but she didn’t say a word about it. She just seemed to trust me. My prayer was simple, asking God to help the doctors find what was wrong. As I said it, I could feel His presence all around us. I stayed with her until her husband came home to take her to the doctor. That day, was the beginning of Norma’s battle with cancer.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged; Bring me out of my distress.
(Psalm 25: 16 & 17)

When the doctors first found the cancer, they decided that she needed surgery. She was going to go to Boston, and as I sat with her going over the plans, I told her that I would try to go visit her. When I said it, I meant it. But I never did get up to Boston. I called her when I could - but was too afraid to drive all that way. I don’t know if Norma ever knew the guilt I felt - because I didn’t visit. I know she wouldn’t have wanted me to feel that way, but I did. I cared so much about her, and wanted to give to her - like she had given to me . . .

You who seek God, let your heart revive. For the Lord hears the needy, . . .

Norma lived three more years after that first surgery. They were years that seemed full of health. The cancer had been taken care of, and she went on with living life. During that time, she was the one helping me to get stronger. She was there - helping me to leave my first husband - holding my hand as I cried and shook - telling me that I was going to be alright. The very first piece of mail I got, when I moved into the house I rented, was from her. It was a card that made me laugh, but also had these words that she wrote: everything is going to be alright - trust in the Lord.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And do not lean on your own understanding, . . .
(Proverbs 3: 5)

I wish that I could say that I had been a “comfort” to Norma, when the cancer came back. I tried to be, but even when she was so sick - her soft voice was comforting me. On July 18, 1998 - Norma left this earth. As I sat with her that morning, asking even her husband to leave so that I could talk with her, I asked her how to go on - without her. “What am I going to do without you?” I asked her. Looking into her eyes, I felt her there. It was as if she was saying again: don’t worry, everything is going to be alright - trust in the Lord . . .

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord - In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; . . .
(Psalm 27: 13 & 14)

Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; . . . My friend was trying to make me feel better. She wanted me to have faith and to trust the Lord. She knew that things had been difficult for both Ted and I, and she wanted to help. But at that moment, I couldn’t see through my own troubles and pain. But I finally did hear her, and as I did - I remembered too what Norma had given to me. Norma had left me a gift - the gift of her faith in the middle of pain and sickness - her quiet strength that believed everything would be alright - if I would only trust in the Lord.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, . . .

Things have not always gone the way I wanted them to go. There have been times of pain and loss in my life. There have also been times of great joy and wonder. I don’t know what lays ahead for Ted and me. What I do know - is that the Lord is walking it with us. He is there to hold our hands, helping us to trust, even when we are afraid . . .

My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song I shall thank Him.
(Psalm 28: 7)

Who will you go to, in times of fear or trouble? It is my hope and prayer that you will trust in Him. He is waiting - with outstretched arms - - - just for you . . .

God bless you in the coming week ahead!

In His Perfect Love,
Debbie & Ted Ayers