Friday, July 08, 2005

Weekly Word for July 8 - 15, 2005

Weekly Word - July 8, 2005

Behold, I tell you a mystery; . . . We shall all be changed. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, . . .
(1 Corinthians 15: 51 & 52)

There he was, sleeping so peacefully on my lap. He was perfect! His little fist was tightly clamped around my finger, as I sat looking at him in amazement. It had been such an emotional few days - all leading to this moment - when this perfect little life had come into our world . . .

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven -
A time to give birth, . . . And a time to die; . . .
A time to love, . . . And a time to hate; . . .
(Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 2, & 8)

A time to give birth and a time to die . . . A time to love and to hate - - - It had been such a rollercoaster week! I had felt it all - the fear and terror, the love and also the hatred. I really didn’t know what to do with all the feelings.

And there is a time for every event under heaven . . .

Ted had to work nights, and that was a “first” for us. He had always been home for supper and in the evenings. The nights when he was called out on emergencies - I always went with. But now, he was going out alone - and for most of the night. I wanted to be supportive, but I missed him already! I didn’t like how this felt - this intense feeling of missing him. I tried to reason with myself - knowing that he would be home sometime after midnight. But it didn’t matter - I wanted to see him! So I headed out - down to the store where he was working.

“And behold, I am with you, and will keep you - wherever you go . . .”
(Genesis 28: 15)

It was late, not quite 10pm, when I drove down to the store. The streets were dark, and there weren’t too many cars on the roads. As I drove into the parking lot, he was outside of his truck - standing waiting, just for me. He was so excited to show me the new counters, and all that they had been working on that night. As he told me all about the work - I couldn’t hear him. I didn’t care about the work - or the other people who were there. I only cared about him - and when he would be coming home. When he walked me back to the car, I wanted to say so many things. But I didn’t. I just let him hug me and kiss me - as he told me goodbye. As I kissed him, I told him I loved him, and asked him to be careful - as he drove home later that night. “I love you too” he told me - and sadly, I headed back home.

The drive took less that 15 minutes to get back to our apartment. And I slowly got my purse, and stepped out of the car. Just then, I heard it! It was coming straight at me! I can’t even tell you what it sounded like - except that I knew it was coming - speeding toward me - and I knew he wouldn‘t stop. I didn’t have time to think, I only reacted - as I pressed my body against the car and pulled the door in close behind me. I felt the jeep racing past me - as if I could touch it - if I just held out my hand. I could feel the rushing air - as the jeep just barely missed hitting me. And then it kept on going - speeding toward the stop sign - and the car that was coming down the hill. “There must be someone chasing him” I thought, as I looked back down the road, where he had come from. For a moment I saw two headlights, and then they were gone. Then I turned back to watch, as the jeep never stopped, and barely missed hitting the car. He never stopped - but kept on going - straight into the curb! He hit the curb with a loud “bang” sound, that I doubt I will ever forget! And then he was airborn, flying over the embankment, and I watched as smoke filled the sky.

All the neighbors came running from their houses, racing toward the jeep and the person who surely must have died. As they ran to give help, I turned and ran the other way. My body was taking me away from him - away from the one who had nearly taken my life . . .

“When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God,”
“Do not fear, for I am with you;”
(Isaiah 43: 2 - 5)

My neighbor found me, walking down the street in front of her house, my body shaking with fear. “He never stopped - I could have died” were the words I couldn’t stop saying. I was so glad she was there, listening to me and comforting me, but I really wanted Ted to be there. If only he wasn’t working - if only I hadn’t gone to see him - if only . . . all my emotions came tumbling out . . .

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you . . .”
(Isaiah 43: 1)

I wanted to hate him - the man who nearly took my life! Sue offered to help me talk to the police, and I was grateful for that. But as the shock wore off, the anger started to surface. “I can’t believe he never stopped, what kind of person drives like that?” “I hope they arrest him and take him away!” I told her. She listened, and then she looked at me. “Have you never done anything stupid?” “Have you never done anything that you wished you had never done?” as she said those words, my anger fell away . . .

Later that night, as I lay in bed waiting for Ted, I thought about all that had happened. I couldn’t help but wonder about the “what ifs”. I was so glad I was alive! It was late when Ted finally came home, and came into the bed. I snuggled into his arms, and he held me tight - as he whispered “Thank you Lord for keeping her alive” . . .
“The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.”
(John 10: 10)

It was the next morning when Becca called to say that she thought she might be in labor. It was three weeks early, but it seemed like she was going to have the baby that day. As we talked, I told her how much I loved her and Mike, and asked her to call, if they needed me. The girls were at their aunt’s house, and so I wasn’t needed to babysit.

When I told Ted that we might have a new grandbaby soon, he just smiled and nodded at me. I was so excited, and the events of the night before seemed so far away . . .

And there is a time for every event under heaven - - -
A time to give birth, - And a time to die; . . .

Later that day, they called to ask if I wanted to be in the room when she gave birth. I couldn’t think of another place I would rather have been! I wanted to “be there” when that little one took his first breath! And so I headed up to the hospital.

Nothing went quite the way everyone thought it would. Her labor wasn’t doing all that the doctors had hoped, and the baby was taking longer to come into this world. As her labor went on, and hours went by, her body got more and more tired. We all wondered why this time was so different. Why was it taking so long?

Night had come, and still the baby hadn’t been born. We all were taking small naps, in between helping Becca with her contractions. I knew that the whole family was waiting for this new little one to be born, but still things weren’t happening. I wanted to call Ted, but couldn’t. My cell phone had lost it’s charge, and the call was long distance. Again, we waited separately - through the night . . .

He has made everything appropriate in its time.
(Ecclesiastes 3: 11)

As the morning light came into the room, her labor started to increase. Soon, the baby would be here. We had waited all night long, for this little one to arrive. As I watched, my son took care of his wife. He held her hand, and talked to her through the contractions. Her mother had left for work, wishing that she didn’t have to go. I was in the background now, quietly watching, as the child who I had given birth to years earlier - was now helping his own child to come into this world. When the baby finally came, I watched as he took the scissors from the doctor - and cut the chord that was still attached. All the hard work and pain faded, as Becca held the baby close. Tears streaming down her face, she whispered softly to him, as she cradled him in her arms. As I took the picture, I knew that this moment was the beginning of something so wonderful - it was a moment to last a lifetime . . .

In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, . . . We shall be changed.
(1 Corinthians 15: 52)

As I held my new little grandson, his big sisters pushed and fought to try to touch him. This beautiful little boy, was now a part of our family. As I thought about the last few days, and all that had happened, I realized how life can change in an instant. A few days earlier, I could have died. But I didn’t! This moment, might not have happened! But here I was, holding a brand new part of my life. These are the moments, that I thank God for.

For from Him - and through Him - and to Him - are all things. To him be the glory forever . . . (Romans 11: 36)

The other day, I got an email from a friend. It was a poem called If I Knew. The poem talks about what each of us would do with our time, if we knew it was to be the last time we had here on earth. As I held my new little grandson, I knew that the days that had led up to his birth, had been full of every emotion that can be found in us all. I had been afraid, angry, sad, and lonely. I had felt terror and all alone. And then I had felt love - so much love for this new little life. As I looked back, I realized that the Lord had been right there with me, through it all.

What would I do with my time, if I knew that this was to be the last time I had on earth? I would love! I would live Life, and choose to forgive. As I look back at just the past few days, those are the things I hope I have done. I hope I have forgiven that man who chose to do something so stupid, that it almost took another’s life. I hope I have loved my family enough - Ted, my children, and grandchildren. And most of all, I hope I have loved the Lord enough - thanking Him - for this Life . . .

What would you do . . . If you knew?

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity - to give you a future and a hope.”
(Jeremiah 29: 11)

God bless you in the coming week ahead!

In His Love,
Debbie & Ted Ayers


Post a Comment

<< Home